Nothing Is Forever, Except the Benefits of GWP by Jean Dempsey

Nothing Is Forever, Except the Benefits of GWP

It’s New Year’s Eve, which means I have officially waited until the last minute to write my December blog post for 9 Lives. This may come as no surprise to my Summer Institute cohort. They watched my inquiry project stagnate until week four, when suddenly it all came together because, well, it had to! Now I find myself in a similar situation, so here goes.

I’m going to follow Laura’s example and not write about my inquiry project, which focused on how to get Intermediate level ESL students more engaged in editing their writing for grammar mistakes. This idea was inspired by the frustration I often feel when watching students from my grammar class succumb to the most avoidable grammar mistakes in my writing class. I found myself asking the rhetorical question, “How did so and so ace the grammar quiz she took this morning, but fail the essay she wrote in the afternoon because of her numerous sentence structure errors?” I came up with various strategies I could implement in both classes, grammar and academic English, to help students apply grammar rules to their writing. I felt excited and inspired for the new semester to start.

Then I heard about the RIF.

Shortly after Summer Institute ended, St. Louis Community College faculty and staff were notified that our Chancellor would be considering a Reduction in Force at the November Board of Trustees meeting. This was the first time in several decades that such a measure had even been proposed, and if adopted, it would result in up to seventy faculty members being laid off. The news had an almost immediate and cataclysmic effect. Starting in August, when we reconvened for fall semester, it’s all anyone could talk about or even think about for the next four months.

Although I have been teaching ESL at St. Louis Community College since 2011, I was only hired full-time at Meramec two years ago. It was a dream come true. My two full-time ESL colleagues had been adjuncts for years and years before being brought on full-time. In late 2013, when a full-time instructor retired, and her position became available, I didn’t even get an interview because of my lack of seniority. When another full-time position was posted in the summer of 2015, I nearly didn’t apply. I didn’t think I had a chance in hell of getting hired, and so I waited (surprise, surprise) until the last minute to submit my application materials. Just getting an interview was the goal this time; I knew better than to get my hopes up. Imagine, then, my amazement and joy when the Dean called to offer me the position.

The first two years were everything I had hoped they would be and I was eagerly anticipating the end of my three-year probationary period when I got news of the RIF. It was like a punch in the gut. The week before classes began, we had a campus-wide union meeting and I asked the Vice President what she thought the chances of keeping my job were, considering my probationary status. She told me frankly, yet sympathetically, that I should start updating my resume. The rest of that day, colleagues kept stopping by my office to see how I was doing and to tell me they were rooting for me. I felt like I’d been diagnosed with some horrible illness but would have to wait four months to get the prognosis. The semester was torture. I was paralyzed by anxiety. I didn’t want to do anything – join committees, register for conferences, implement my inquiry project – nothing. I didn’t see the point.

Fortunately, and I guess a little ironically, I had stumbled upon and cultivated a support group, before I even knew I would need them. When I shared the equivocal “I might lose my job” news in our Summer Institute Facebook Group, Laura was the first to respond with words of encouragement, “You’re good at what you do. If they give you the boot, you’ll find something better.” Rob offered to look for openings in “Rock to the Wood,” and when I reminded him that I’m not K-12 certified, Tracy was quick to remind me of her UMSL connections. When Tracy invited us all to the GWP “Dinner and Demo” in September, I went – not because I wanted to join a book group, but because I felt like it would be a good networking opportunity. It was rejuvenating. I saw Tracy and Sioux, Rob and Laura, my friend Diana, and met new people. Of course, there was writing involved. It was fun and refreshing, and by the end of the night I had joined a book group. While I’ve only been to one of the three meetings, I’m glad I joined and intend to recommit myself next semester. At this time, there was also no shortage of conversation and writing ideas flowing in the Facebook group, along with a much-needed night of binge drinking at Rob’s, and oh yeah, my wedding celebration, which Bianca and Laura attended with their wonderful significant others. Given the toxically stressful and paranoid atmosphere at work, it felt good to divert my attention elsewhere.

Meanwhile, I still did not know what would happen with my job, so I reached out to Nancy Singer about completing my Graduate Certificate in the Teaching of Writing. I knew it would be to my advantage to finish, but I had no idea what to focus on. Nancy generously gave me her home phone number and talked to me one night for about an hour, outlining my options and listening to me ramble anxiously about my job predicament. It felt good to unload all the stress I was feeling and get advice from a totally unbiased party. I haven’t told her yet, but I decided I will complete my certificate with a focus on Rhet-Comp so that in the future I am able to teach English 101 and other non-ESL college level English classes, thus expanding my repertoire immeasurably – a move which will make me more marketable if I lose my job, and which will hopefully give me more job security if I stay at St. Louis Community College.

Hopefully this blog post has conveyed the appreciation I feel for Gateway Writing Project, which came into my life when I needed it most – when two short years after landing my dream job, it was almost taken away from me. I am overjoyed and still don’t quite believe it, but I did not lose my job. The Board of Trustees did vote to approve the RIF, and fifty-eight full-time faculty members, more than half of them Reading and English instructors, were laid off during finals week, a week before Christmas. They have one semester left to find new employment. It was a devastating blow and although I was somehow spared, I am heartbroken to lose a trusted mentor, our department chair, along with four others from my department. I also feel like I have lost my innocence, for now I know that no job is secure. All but a few of those who were laid off were on “continuing status,” our version of tenure.

I intend to contact Nancy in the coming week about registering for spring classes, and am excited to continue the journey I started this past summer with SI. In fact, what started as a six-credit class that I took to be eligible for an upcoming promotion has become a contingency plan for my future. I feel secure and excited to bolster my teaching experience with a writing certificate, perhaps even another Master’s degree. I feel sure that whatever happens in the future, I will be alright because I have developed a professional support network and am taking steps to become a better and more versatile teacher. And just as I learned this summer that it is okay to be “a work in progress,” I understand that the same maxim applies to my career. When I got hired full-time at Meramec, I thought “this is forever.” Now I know that nothing is forever, except maybe the fountain pen tattoos that Tracy, Laura, and Bianca and I are planning to get to this spring. When I see my tattoo, I will remember that my options are open, opportunities unlimited, and that no matter what the future holds, I am not alone.

Happy New Year!!!